Day 20 of the Overcoming Fear Challenge

Getting Rid of the Victim Mentality


We hold ourselves hostage when we allow fears to dictate how we will conduct our lives. The biggest problem with our fears is that they are often entrenched in our daily habits. To add insult to injury, we have family and friends who tell us why we are unable to do the things that we dream about doing. Whenever we hit a snag in our plans, these same people are quick to say “I told you so.” rather than offering genuine service toward helping us determine our next course of action. Because the thoughts inside our heads are telling us that we can’t and our family and friends are reinforcing that victim mentality, it is no wonder we are stuck in the frustration that nothing is working. So what do we need to do? How do we break free of this cycle of being stuck because of fear?

First thing we have to do is to exchange our negative fearful thoughts with thoughts of faith. The important thing is however is to take baby steps. As much as we would like to, we cannot change over night. Habits of negativity have to be exchanged for habits of positive action a little at a time. We determine what is our toughest daily challenges first and then do what remains with the time left.

We need to begin raising our standards on a daily basis and become more self-reliant. We need higher personal and professional standards than the negative people around us. Begin by taking the best care of yourself possible. We should put our best foot forward in everything that we do. Think quality rather than quantity. Think excellence rather than just doing enough to get by. When getting ready to take risks, acknowledge your fears. We need to recognize that true security does not originate in others. Weigh the benefits against the risks. Know that you have a plan and that by taking the risk, you are becoming more independent. Like a swimmer at the end of a diving board, jump in head first.


Next we need to exchange the time we spend with our negative family and friends for people who encourage us and help build us up. We need to prepare ourselves for the knowledge that those negative people are not going to change simply because we change. If anything, they are likely to become more resistant to our growth. Some people we will need to eliminate entirely. Others, we will need to simply learn to tune out until it becomes clear to them that they really were wrong about us. We need to have faith in ourselves that someday we will become their role models.


About the Author

2014-04-07 07.07.08Cygnet Brown has recently finished her first nonfiction book: Simply Vegetable Gardening: Simple Organic Gardening Tips for the Beginning Gardener She is also the author of historical fiction series The Locket Saga Cygnet Brown resides in Springfield, Missouri.

Get a free copy of her newsletter and a free pdf copy of her e-booket: Vegetable Gardening in the Shade.

Day 20 Overcoming Fear Challenge ©2014 Donna (Cygnet) Brown

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