Day 8 of the Overcoming Fear Challenge

Discovering Our Options for Overcoming Anxiety

Yesterday we identified an area where we felt stuck and identified what we were afraid of losing in that area where we felt as though we were stuck. Today, we are going to look at this even more and determine exactly what we can do with the power that knowing what we are afraid of losing can do for us. It is the first step in discovering our options for overcoming anxiety and overcoming fear as it relates to feeling stuck.

glasses

Seeing that you have options is one of the first steps in overcoming the fear that has you stuck.

Let’s look at the example of:

Feeling stuck in my current dead end job. (This isn’t the area where I am currently stuck. It may not be the area where you are currently stuck,  but it is an area where many people are stuck. It is a good example, so I will use it. )

What am I afraid of losing if I decide to leave my current dead end job?

Our home?- Probably

Our 401K- probably

Our self respect- possibly

our spouses respect-possibly

our spouse-possibly

not being able to pay my own bills-if you’re like most people who work paycheck to paycheck, most definitely.

Well, I don’t know about you, but losing those things could be pretty devastating. This is a dose of reality. No wonder you’re afraid of leaving your dead end job. So the next question that comes up would be: How could I keep from losing all those things and still leave my current job? The answer to this question starts opening other possibilities.

Discovering Your Options Empowers

The quickest way of leaving your current job might be to write a resume and sending that resume out to various other jobs that perhaps are not so dead end.

Another option, which is a far more drastic measure, would be to say to heck with it all, sell the house, leave the wife, leave the job behind, and go live under a bridge. None of it was worth keeping any way.

Other, less drastic means of breaking out of the rut take a little longer. For instance you could go back to school, get a better education and then fill out the job resumes toward a better job.

Another might be to start your own home business while still doing the current job. Go to part time after a while and gradually work into working the part time business full time.

Another might be to study short term to get a real estate or insurance license, sell a few things to tide the family over and try to live on the wife’s income until you really start making an income.

By going through this exercise, I realize that I don’t have to stay stuck in a job that I hate. I may have to continue doing it for a while, but refusing to stay stuck in a dead end job isn’t my only option. I have ways of getting myself unstuck if I simply look at all the options that might be available to me.

We now have an example of an area where a person could feel stuck. We have identified what we could lose if we were to simply let go of where we are stuck. Finally, we have identified ways that we can become unstuck. Now it is time for the real work. Where are we stuck? What are we afraid of losing? What could be done about it? Finally, we must weight the options and determine which option we will take in order to move past the fear into freedom.

 

2014-04-07 07.07.08About the Author

Cygnet Brown has recently finished her first nonfiction book: Simply Vegetable Gardening: Simple Organic Gardening Tips for the Beginning Gardener She is also the author of historical fiction series The Locket Saga Cygnet Brown resides in Springfield, Missouri.

Get a free copy of her newsletter and a free pdf copy of her e-booket: Vegetable Gardening in the Shade.

Day 8 Overcoming Fear Challenge ©2014 Donna (Cygnet) Brown

Day Seven of the Overcoming Fear Challenge

“When you find yourself stuck, you know you are dealing with fear.”-Cygnet Brown

Do you ever find yourself stuck and don’t know where to go next? The underlying feeling of being stuck is based in fear. When you see yourself stuck the first thing to ask yourself is “What am I afraid of?”

Stuck in a dead end job?

Stuck in what to do next in business?

Stuck in a certain level in your business?

Stuck in a bad marriage?

Stuck in a cycle of poverty?

Stuck in a rut of any kind?

What are you afraid of? Whatever it is that you are afraid if is keeping you from moving forward. A more precise question would be “What are you afraid of losing?” Before you can forward, you must deal with this one key element. “What are you afraid of losing?”

vampire movie

Shining a light on what you’re afraid of losing is a very scary thing even after you do it. If you want to move past the fear, it is necessary.

This is the boogie man in all the resistance you sense as you move forward. Identify what you’re afraid of losing, and that lose loses some of its power over you because you have identified it. More on this tomorrow.

This weekend I took a step forward, but it was a difficult one for me because when I admitted it, I realized that I had been holding some fear that was very scary to me. I think I had mentioned that I had been planning to publish Simply Vegetable Gardening and that I was later at getting it out than I had originally planned. Part of the reason was that I had not finished because I thought that I could finish it more quickly than I actually was able. The big reason, however was that I was procrastinating getting that project finished. We discussed procrastination back on Day Three.

I finally got the book published late Saturday night on Kindle. The book looked beautiful. I compared my work in that book with the books I had written in the past and it looked great. Editing wise, formatting wise, writing wise, it was the best work I had put out thus far. Not only that it was a book from the heart. I loved the work, and I loved the end result. In a few days, when my husband Jeff finishes the design on the back cover, we’ll be publishing the print book. You would think I would be happy, but I wasn’t.  I was a wreck. Fear raised his ugly head. What if nobody liked it? What if I put it out there and no one thought it was worth buying and reading? What was I afraid of losing? I was afraid of losing “My Dream”.  I put my heart and soul into this. I am invested in this book. What if no one valued my book? If people reject my book, then I felt as though people will also reject me. I was afraid of rejection.

Now that my book was published, I was facing the fear of rejection head on. Did publishing the book make me feel the fear less? No, I felt it more, but I was dealing with it. I’m still dealing with it. Now that I recognize it however, I realize that what I am doing now is a brave thing. I am facing my fear and pushing through it. Yesterday though it started with me feeling like a loser, by the end of the day, I felt as though I had accomplished much. I even got a few sales. There are at least a few people who do like me and my work. I’ll bet there are at least a few more. I must simply go out and find them.

 

Diving into April with a 30-Day Challenge

Can you believe that it is already the last day of the month? How time flies whether I’m having fun or not! Tomorrow starts a new day, and I am diving into what is called a 30 Day Challenge. Every day I will be facing a challenge that has been plaguing me so much that I have devoted a whole month to conquering it.

skydiver

This skydiver certainly has learned to face his fears and this month, I am planning to face a few of my own.

I have decided that the biggest thing I need challenged right now “FEAR”. Everyday, for the next thirty days, I am going to something to help me face some fear in my life. Everyday I am going to post some intent and then post what I did to face down that fear and overcome it. No, I am not going to face my fears concerning bungee jumping or skydiving, I plan on being a little more practical than that. So everyday for the next month, you will be seeing a post from me concerning some challenge that I am putting out there. If you know of any unique ways of facing fear, comment below. I would love to hear your insights.

Do you face areas of fear in your life? Perhaps you too would join me in this challenge.

bungee jumping

This will not be on my list of fears that I plan to challenge this month, but the ones that I face will definitely be as frightening for me as bungee jumping!

What is it that you fear? What do you think that you need to do to conquer your fears?  Write in the comments below what fears you have to face, and perhaps list a thing or two that you will use to confront it. If you can’t think of way to confront your fear, write down your fear anyway. Perhaps we can both gain a better perspective by dialoguing about it.

If you haven’t yet received your copy of Vegetable Gardening in the Shade, do so now by clicking on this link and receive a subscription to my newsletter Cygnet’s News as well. In this newsletter, you will be able to keep up with events that I will be attending, updates on my books, and articles that bring the conflict of the American Revolution to life as well as timely gardening tips from what to plant, how to plant it using organic methods, how to keep it growing and how to use it after harvest.

© Copyright, 2014, Diving into April with a 30-Day Challenge, Donna (Cygnet) Brown