Day Seven of the Overcoming Fear Challenge

“When you find yourself stuck, you know you are dealing with fear.”-Cygnet Brown

Do you ever find yourself stuck and don’t know where to go next? The underlying feeling of being stuck is based in fear. When you see yourself stuck the first thing to ask yourself is “What am I afraid of?”

Stuck in a dead end job?

Stuck in what to do next in business?

Stuck in a certain level in your business?

Stuck in a bad marriage?

Stuck in a cycle of poverty?

Stuck in a rut of any kind?

What are you afraid of? Whatever it is that you are afraid if is keeping you from moving forward. A more precise question would be “What are you afraid of losing?” Before you can forward, you must deal with this one key element. “What are you afraid of losing?”

vampire movie

Shining a light on what you’re afraid of losing is a very scary thing even after you do it. If you want to move past the fear, it is necessary.

This is the boogie man in all the resistance you sense as you move forward. Identify what you’re afraid of losing, and that lose loses some of its power over you because you have identified it. More on this tomorrow.

This weekend I took a step forward, but it was a difficult one for me because when I admitted it, I realized that I had been holding some fear that was very scary to me. I think I had mentioned that I had been planning to publish Simply Vegetable Gardening and that I was later at getting it out than I had originally planned. Part of the reason was that I had not finished because I thought that I could finish it more quickly than I actually was able. The big reason, however was that I was procrastinating getting that project finished. We discussed procrastination back on Day Three.

I finally got the book published late Saturday night on Kindle. The book looked beautiful. I compared my work in that book with the books I had written in the past and it looked great. Editing wise, formatting wise, writing wise, it was the best work I had put out thus far. Not only that it was a book from the heart. I loved the work, and I loved the end result. In a few days, when my husband Jeff finishes the design on the back cover, we’ll be publishing the print book. You would think I would be happy, but I wasn’t.  I was a wreck. Fear raised his ugly head. What if nobody liked it? What if I put it out there and no one thought it was worth buying and reading? What was I afraid of losing? I was afraid of losing “My Dream”.  I put my heart and soul into this. I am invested in this book. What if no one valued my book? If people reject my book, then I felt as though people will also reject me. I was afraid of rejection.

Now that my book was published, I was facing the fear of rejection head on. Did publishing the book make me feel the fear less? No, I felt it more, but I was dealing with it. I’m still dealing with it. Now that I recognize it however, I realize that what I am doing now is a brave thing. I am facing my fear and pushing through it. Yesterday though it started with me feeling like a loser, by the end of the day, I felt as though I had accomplished much. I even got a few sales. There are at least a few people who do like me and my work. I’ll bet there are at least a few more. I must simply go out and find them.

 

Day Six of the Overcoming Fear Challenge

“When you are grateful fear disappears and abundance appears.”- Anthony Robbins.

We are revisiting the same quote that we shared yesterday because it still suits today’s topic as you will see. Three types of people exist in the world. Most people know about two of them. They are the givers and the takers. However, a third type exists. This group I call the fearful.

dead sea

The Dead Sea is dead because water flows into it, but it doesn’t flow out of it. For us to be truly alive we must allow things to flow out of us as well as into us.

The givers give to this world. These are the people who when they leave the world or even the room make you feel good that they were there. They always have a positive outlook on life. These are the people who always leave more behind them than they take. These are the people who are always sharing what they have with others and others love them for it. What they give can be material, and often is, but it can also simply be an attitude. What they give, however always has substance. These are the people who when they share something with you, don’t remind you that you owe them. These people are secure in the fact that reciprocity exists. They know that what they give will always return to them bigger and better. They know that the more they give, the more they will get in return. They always see the world as a place of abundance and that plenty exists for everyone. they know that it is the giving that produces the abundance.

The Takers,  on the other hand, are those people who always make you feel as though they have gained at your expense. WhenTakers come into the world or into a room they leave behind them negativity. They suck the life out of everyone and everything around them. They are like the Dead Sea in that they always receive, but never give.  These people are the consumers that take more than they give. They may be able to convince you in the moment that they are doing you a favor, but it doesn’t take long to learn that they have taken advantage of you. These people see the world as having limited resources and that in order to have it, they must manipulate it from you.

We are all familiar with the givers and takers, but few of us recognize the fearful. Their goal in life is to enter the room and leave it without being noticed. These people are those who might say of themselves “I didn’t come into this world with much, and I still have most of it.” They don’t take much from the world, but they don’t give much either. These people are often hardworking, but they never seem to get ahead. They wouldn’t dream of taking advantage of anyone, however, because the world is limited, they cannot see how they can give away anything either. These people see the world as being a hostile place that takes from them and never gives back. Because they see the world as hostile, they tend to be tight-fisted with with what little they do have. They neither give nor take. These people live in poverty and squalor and hoard what little they do have because they are afraid of losing what little they possess. This is true about not only their physical possessions, but their mental and emotional abilities as well.

The Takers nor the Fearful can truly be grateful for what they have only the givers have that quality. to become a giver, the place to start is to recognize the abundance that is in your life. To become a giver, you must be grateful. Even the fearful can give thanks. Giving thanks is an easy place to begin our giving. Today’s homework is to create a gratitude list of all that we are thankful that we have received. What are you grateful for receiving. Write your list, and I will write mine.

I have to admit that I am numbered among the fearful. It’s time fir me to step out of my comfort zone and start giving.